Antenatal and postnatal care typically focuses on mother and baby, and dads (or partners) can feel pushed into the background. Nowadays, however, more than ever before perhaps, hands-on dads are getting involved not only with raising children, but in planning pregnancies, being the birthing partner or support person, having active involvement in labour, in looking after a newborn and doing their fair share of feeds, nappy changes and bath time care.

How dads can get involved in planning pregnancies

Obviously it takes two to tango and get pregnant, so the most important thing you can do when planning your pregnancy is to get involved in the decision making process. If your partner is already pregnant, there is plenty of support that you can offer that will help you (and your partner) feel actively involved. Help remind your partner to take any dietary supplements and join her in exercising, in eating healthily and in eating the same foods, in stopping smoking and in limiting (or stopping) your alcohol intake.

• Don’t leave it all to your partner! It may be her cycle that you’re keeping an eye on, but keep an eye on it together.
• Change your diet (if you need to) to include plenty of fresh fruit and vegetables, and limit your intake of processed food, biscuits and cakes. Don’t eat too much fat either.
• Exercise regularly.
• Wear loose fitting underwear.
• Give up smoking or drinking too much alcohol. You may not feel that you need to do this, but it will certainly help support your partner if she needs to!
• If getting pregnant is taking time, don’t be embarrassed about going to a men’s health clinic or to your doctor to get checked out.

How dads can get involved in pregnancy

As a father-to-be, you can:

• Read up on topics such as babies, pregnancy, child care and the health of children on the Internet, in books and via magazines. Visit the library, the local bookstore or take out a magazine subscription for a ‘baby’ mag. They will help you become better informed and your partner will feel supported.
• Attend ultra sound scans with your partner.
• During the pregnancy feel the unborn baby kicking and talk to it. You may feel a bit silly talking to a bump, but a baby in the womb can hear you and actually responds more to voices that are lower in pitch. Babies can recognise fathers’ voices just minutes after birth.
• Help with bump massage. Offer to rub massage oil or moisturising lotion onto the growing bump. It helps mum to keep stretch marks and dry skin at bay and gives you the opportunity to bond you’re your baby.
• Go to antenatal classes with your partner. They are geared to include partners and you certainly won’t be the only man there!

How dads can get involved in caring for baby

Once bub has arrived, there’s plenty of opportunity for doting fathers to offer support:

• When the baby is delivered, if Mum is busy (with the third stage of labour for example) be on hand to hold the baby. Skin to skin contact is just as important for dad and baby, as for mum and baby. Don’t be shy – take your shirt off if you want to.
• Once your new baby has arrived, take every opportunity to feed, burp and change the baby’s nappy. Don’t feel discouraged if you need a bit of practise to get it right – mum may look as if she’s sussed it, but she’s probably just getting more opportunity to practise than you!
• Have lots of skin-on-skin cuddles with the new baby. The baby not only gets tummy time, but you get to bond too.
• Use a front pack to carry the baby in, rather than opting for a car seat all the time.
• Help as much as you can around the house to lighten the load on the new mum and fend off visitors if necessary, so mum can get some rest and have the necessary time to get breastfeeding going.
• Be as supportive as possible of your partner if she is feeling hormonal, weepy and depressed.
• Look after yourself too – you may feel a bit left out, anxious, angry or moody. Talk to your partner or your friends and get support.
• Acknowledge that you are tired and need to rest too. Don’t try to be superman!
• Claim bath time as your own special time with baby or try bed time reading and daily walks for quality father-son or father-daughter time.
• Put aside some of your own hobbies and enjoy the company of your child while he or she is still young. Golf will still be there, but the baby years will fly past.

This article was kindly supplied by NZS.